Let’s face it — without coffee, sarcasm, and a healthy dose of existential dread, most of us wouldn’t even make it out of bed. This **"My Blood Type is Coffee and Sarcasm with a Dash of Existential Dread"** T-shirt says what your soul screams every Monday morning (and Tuesday... and Wednesday...).
Featuring a wonderfully grumpy cryptid (probably Bigfoot’s caffeine-addicted cousin) cradling a mug like it’s the only thing holding back the cosmic void, this shirt perfectly captures your vibe: tired, over-caffeinated, and utterly unimpressed by the universe’s nonsense.
Wrapped in a wreath of coffee beans and hopelessness (okay, technically leaves, but you get the point), this tee will get knowing nods from baristas, coworkers, and anyone else slowly spiraling into the abyss of adulthood.

☕ *Powered by coffee, protected by sarcasm*
👁 Existential dread sold separately (but heavily implied)
🦍 Grumpy cryptid art for maximum anti-social energy
😴 100% ring-spun cotton — perfect for napping between existential crises
    • Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
    • Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
    • 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
    • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
    • Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
    • Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti, or Guatemala
👕 Unisex fit for all cryptids, weirdos, and caffeine junkies

Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!